The History in Asian American History

As the first post in my blog, I'd to introduce myself to the rest of you. Introducing the real me will put a lot of what I say in perspective.

I'm a white male from a middle class family in northern Virginia. My parents pay my college fees and provide for other amenities. I also have a job as a certified pharmacy technician so I pay for the rest of whatever it is that I "want" other than my college tuition. My girlfriend is Filipina. Not Filipino as many people would say, but Filipinia because in Tagalog or in Filipino language their adjective system is similar to the romance language system of words describing "masculine" things ending in -o and "feminine" words ending with an -a. She is quite different from me. She isn't an American Citizen (will be soon) , and still lives with her parents at the age of 20. She is in college, but has to use loans and grants to pay for tuition. Her parents don't pay for anything, and not because they cannot contribute either. Her 22 year old sister who is not in school also lives at home and works periodically, but mostly does nothing. She also has her younger sister living with her as well. She also has 2 aunts 1 uncle and 3 cousins living with her as well as her lolo and lola (Tagalog for Grandpa/Grandma). We met almost two years ago and honestly neither of our lives will ever be the same.

Earlier today Francis talked about the reason its important to study Asian American history and how we must become a part of that history in order to propagate it. He also gave examples to reasons for being in the class or studying it. A few were generic, similar to the statement that I made at the beginning of the paragraph. Another, concerned being an Asian-American male coming to terms with white guys dating asian girls and being alright with it. He also restated that from the perspective of the white guy, asking whether or not he was truely interested in Asian girls for more than just being "hot", which is what pertains to me. Francis and I had an provocative conversation in which we frankly discussed that topic and I'm willing to share it openly. He knows that I'm dating a Filipina and he also knows the apprehension I had about the nature of my relationship.

I've learned a lot about the United States place in the world, especially in relation to Asian culture and society. Our past is one of imperialism and orientalism. The thought of my relationship being imperialistic and orientalistic scared me and my reason for pursuing more knowledge is for me to come to terms with my "Americanism" as Asian American students study Asian American history to come to terms with their "Asianism". The story of the old world parents new world children isn't one fresh, but a relationship of conflicting ideas that has solidified itself a staple of progress and the migration of people for 100s of years, if not 1000s.

So basically, I'm writing from the perspective of the white American coming to terms with a possible Asian fetish. Do you know how scary that is? What if you began to question your very world view because you finally realized how messed up and scary a country you live in. Don't get me wrong, the United States has done a great many things, but for every innovation and world moving event so much has been done against the world. When love is overshadowed by your fear of being an impostor what else can you do, but question and tackle the thing holding you back. Its only right that one questions whats been given them and its only right that a person takes the required step outside of their comfort zone.